What did I say in my last entry? Something about not being here for a while? Yeah...
Again, Home Group (HG) tonight. I had received a phone call from a friend, a member, earlier today. He left a rather cryptic message about group conscience. No idea what he was talking about. He said he was going to work late tonight, but would see me at the meeting.
Well, tonight was our Group Conscience meeting (business meeting, fyi). An issue was brought up about an incidence at the last week's meeting. It dealt with the fellow who called me today. The issue was handled pas des problèmes.
However, my friend was a no show by the time our break was ending. I decided to head home and give my friend a call to make sure all was OK, or as OK as OK can be. I told a few members of my HG where I was going and why.
I spoke with him after I got home and learned what had happened last week after the meeting. It appears that one long time member of our group went on a bit of a "tirade" with my friend and another member. And a second member, a long-timer also, told my friend that he had "fucked up".
I've known both these folks for a very long time and respect their recoveries. However, after what I heard had happened I was upset, to say the least. To act in such a way with a relative newcomer was inexcusable. I've walked away from an HG because of such an occurrence.
The difference this time around is 1) I've changed in my recovery and 2) I wasn't there and did not see or hear what went down in the two cases I listed. I told my friend that it was a non-issue, imho, and to not fret overly much about what had happened.
I honestly thought that maybe it was time to find a new HG. But, sanity prevailed. I realized that both those members, even with their clean times and recoveries therein, might just have been having a bad day. They reacted instead of simply responding. Far too many times in my dark & mysterious life in recovery, I let one person push me away from that which is my life saver. By doing so, forgetting all the other people who I have come to rely on to help show me that better way of life.
Those two members who so shabbily treated another member will still be a part of my own recovery. As long as they and I keep coming back, we will be there. I can't let the actions of a few sway me from my own path because it would mean that I would suffer. And I don't need that sort of shit in my life.
Keep The Faith*
