And The Beat Goes On...

Lah-dee-dah-dee-dee, Lah-dee-dah-dee-dah.

Life, too, goes on. For the past week now I have been hitting the pillow early. Mind you, early as in 22:30 hrs. or so and not midnight or beyond. 

I attempt to settle my thoughts, doing mindfulness exercises, focusing on my breathing and just trying to slow down. I get to a point where I feel truly tired and calm. I turn on my background sounds with brainwave frequencies to allow me to drift into deeper sleep or induce REM dreaming.

YAY....... Fuck me! The boy upstairs decides to move furniture in his bedroom. Or some dipshit outside goes off on a screaming tangent at a perceived bug-a-boo. or my cat suddenly does that "tear around the apartment" thingy cats are known for. Or a fucking june bug goes dive-bombing my head.

And the serenity is lost. My brain cranks up the 4127 hamsters with their squeaky wheels and I am off to the races. I gave up trying mindfulness routines because my head is just too full of death and rage and the desire to go fishing.

In the past week, I have been up to 04:00, 05:00, 06:00... even staying up until the next day's bedtime. Like today, or yesterday, to be precise. It's 02:30 right now. I feel absolutely wasted, burned out and the boy upstairs has given up grinding whatever over the floor and has resorted to screaming & cursing.

I could call OCH security or the cops, but for what? To shut him the fuck up?! Do you think that maybe those same two forces could shut my hyper-active brain down while they're at it? Maybe use a baton to whack me over the head and send me into comatose la-la land??

Ah, to sleep, perchance to... Sleep??!! Fuck dreaming. I just want to go to sleep, for cryin' out loud. And screw the cryin' out loud biz. Johnny-Be-Evil above me is is working an orchestra! I s'pose I should be grateful he isn't wailing on his guitar. That would simply send me into paroxysms of murder!!!

Here I be. I am tempted to visit YouTube and watch some  bass fishing videos, or maybe magnet fishing. Cat videos?? Netflix? Curiosity Stream? Drag out my collection of DVDs and binge watch Stargate:SG1? Star Trek-TNG? Shit. I just had a thought of getting dressed and going to the local Quickie for some cigarettes.
Insanity - Thy Name is Robb.

...sigh... Maybe I should just break down and take a couple of dimenhydrinate (Gravol, to you uninitiated). I just hate the feeling of being hung-over when I wake up. Mind you, that's kinda what I am feeling right now, so would it be any worse a dozen hours from now? Bleh! I'd probably sleep thru my 08:00 alarm or turn it off and miss my morning insulin shot.

...double-sigh... The toils of living in my head. Johnny-Boy has shut up, at least. Ricky, however, is chasing a bug and meowing up a frustrated storm. Out of the pan and into the fire, eh? I guess I'll join him in his search and maybe take some satisfaction in squishing a bug.
Especially a june bug!
They make such a sweet crunching noise when stomped on!!

Keep The Faith*