2017/08/16
2017/08/14
WOW!
I spent some time with a long time friend today. Someone I haven't seen in "real life" for more than 4 years now. You see that title up there? WOW!
That is the most accurate response I can give to that visit! It was at a Tim Hortons shop where we met so I could give her a present that she most obviously appreciated... thanks to Facebook.
The actual WOW to me was how long we spent together outside Timmys, talking about this, that, AND the inevitable other thing! We shared our personal ups & downs in life, both present & past. We chatted about our current life situations. We talked about absolutely nothing.
My WOW was made most poignant was when she gave me a ride home. Well, no, it was when I got in my apartment and I looked at my clock. I realized that our "visit" was over well over two hours long! From a possible 1 hour chat, over 2 hours went by!
Wow. Some of you might wonder... wtf?? But hey, I am a dyed in the wool isolationist. To go to a (honest!!) friends place for dinner & convo, or to meet with someone to deliver up a gift, that really is not who I am. But... wow... BUT...
Sometimes, I am amazed at what a simple act of "Why Not?" turns into an OMG moment. I got meself an OMG moment today. No matter what, there is someone who knows me. Someone who has gone thru (is going thru!) what I have.
I am still, even after all my time in this life, amazed at what I can learn from others about my place in the world today. Thank you "S", for giving me a smile, a laugh, and a much needed comfort that I am still "a part of"!
Keep the Faith*
Robb
That is the most accurate response I can give to that visit! It was at a Tim Hortons shop where we met so I could give her a present that she most obviously appreciated... thanks to Facebook.
The actual WOW to me was how long we spent together outside Timmys, talking about this, that, AND the inevitable other thing! We shared our personal ups & downs in life, both present & past. We chatted about our current life situations. We talked about absolutely nothing.
My WOW was made most poignant was when she gave me a ride home. Well, no, it was when I got in my apartment and I looked at my clock. I realized that our "visit" was over well over two hours long! From a possible 1 hour chat, over 2 hours went by!
Wow. Some of you might wonder... wtf?? But hey, I am a dyed in the wool isolationist. To go to a (honest!!) friends place for dinner & convo, or to meet with someone to deliver up a gift, that really is not who I am. But... wow... BUT...
Sometimes, I am amazed at what a simple act of "Why Not?" turns into an OMG moment. I got meself an OMG moment today. No matter what, there is someone who knows me. Someone who has gone thru (is going thru!) what I have.
I am still, even after all my time in this life, amazed at what I can learn from others about my place in the world today. Thank you "S", for giving me a smile, a laugh, and a much needed comfort that I am still "a part of"!
Keep the Faith*
Robb
2017/08/05
The Pain
Ah yes, the pain. I suppose a good way to look at it is I am up at 07:00 hrs, instead of sleeping in 'til 10:00 or so.
And what am I talking about? The Pain. The pain of peripheral neuropathy (see 2017/07/14). I got smacked once more with these fucking foot and shin pains overnight. Sharp, burning pain. Fortunately (??!!), only in my left leg this time around. Still, it was enough to force my sorry ass out of bed 4 times this morning, starting around 02:00 hrs.
And now. I gave up. I figure "Why bother?" If I go back to bed, I'm up again at 08:00 to take my insulin and for damn sure, I'd be up again sometime after that, screaming & cursing. Might as well stay up now.
I had joined a Facebook group called "Neuropathy: The Silent Warriors" because I felt a kinship with others out there who were going thru the same thing as this old soul. Unfortunately (!!??), I am just not bad enough for that group. Everyone who posted there had (more or less) neuropathy pain that was (more or less) constant. And pretty well all over the body, but focused a lot on the feet and legs.
There was much discussion on this treatment and that, this drug and the other drug. Then, I started to get PMs from folk asking why I was there, since my pains are not constant, occur once in a while and only in my lower shins & feet, have my bouts mainly at night, and I do nothing more than get out to "walk it off". Besides, there was far too much talk about narcotic pain killers like fentanyl for my taste & sanity. So, I left the group.
I initially felt a part of this group, trying to throw my experience into the mix. But, I just wasn't up to snuff, I guess. I left. And less than a week later, I'm facing the very reason I joined that thing. The Pain. But, I suppose I will become a Silent Warrior once more, separate, apart from.
Meh. Been there. Done that. Sold the T-shirt to buy cigarettes. Besides, this isn't anything new. I've gone thru this shit before and will do it again in the near future. I have learned to live with it, so to speak. I'd be fucked if I had to go to a job after a night like last. Non-functional, hm? Oh well, it's Saturday. The weekend is here. yay.
Keep The Faith*
And what am I talking about? The Pain. The pain of peripheral neuropathy (see 2017/07/14). I got smacked once more with these fucking foot and shin pains overnight. Sharp, burning pain. Fortunately (??!!), only in my left leg this time around. Still, it was enough to force my sorry ass out of bed 4 times this morning, starting around 02:00 hrs.
And now. I gave up. I figure "Why bother?" If I go back to bed, I'm up again at 08:00 to take my insulin and for damn sure, I'd be up again sometime after that, screaming & cursing. Might as well stay up now.
I had joined a Facebook group called "Neuropathy: The Silent Warriors" because I felt a kinship with others out there who were going thru the same thing as this old soul. Unfortunately (!!??), I am just not bad enough for that group. Everyone who posted there had (more or less) neuropathy pain that was (more or less) constant. And pretty well all over the body, but focused a lot on the feet and legs.
There was much discussion on this treatment and that, this drug and the other drug. Then, I started to get PMs from folk asking why I was there, since my pains are not constant, occur once in a while and only in my lower shins & feet, have my bouts mainly at night, and I do nothing more than get out to "walk it off". Besides, there was far too much talk about narcotic pain killers like fentanyl for my taste & sanity. So, I left the group.
I initially felt a part of this group, trying to throw my experience into the mix. But, I just wasn't up to snuff, I guess. I left. And less than a week later, I'm facing the very reason I joined that thing. The Pain. But, I suppose I will become a Silent Warrior once more, separate, apart from.
Meh. Been there. Done that. Sold the T-shirt to buy cigarettes. Besides, this isn't anything new. I've gone thru this shit before and will do it again in the near future. I have learned to live with it, so to speak. I'd be fucked if I had to go to a job after a night like last. Non-functional, hm? Oh well, it's Saturday. The weekend is here. yay.
Keep The Faith*
2017/08/02
Unknown
The name says, what? Unknown. That's it. Just like my feeble attempts at vlogging, doing a blog is an unknown. What to write, what to say... it is all unknown.
The same goes with my website, robbsplace.net. I am currently in version 9 of that site and it has barely changed in the 20 odd years I've had it. Family, Recovery, Fishing... and, of course, this blog. But, what have I really done with it all? Basically, nothing. Changed colors & designs, added a picture here & there, put in a few new words & deleted some others. That's it.
Why? Unknown. I really have nothing to say about anything. My Facebook page gets more attention than anything, and that is just regurgitated crap from other people. My YouTube channel is the same, altho' most of the videos are my own. The best I ever did on YouTube was a review of a product that garnered me almost 30,000 views and a whack of followers. Whoop-dee-do.
Tonight, as I lay in bed wondering if sleep would ever arrive, I decided to come here and blog about nothing. About the unknown. And good golly gosh, I did it! I've said absolutely nothing about nothing and the unknown! Am I good or what??!! >>shrug<< unknown...
Keep The Faith*
The same goes with my website, robbsplace.net. I am currently in version 9 of that site and it has barely changed in the 20 odd years I've had it. Family, Recovery, Fishing... and, of course, this blog. But, what have I really done with it all? Basically, nothing. Changed colors & designs, added a picture here & there, put in a few new words & deleted some others. That's it.
Why? Unknown. I really have nothing to say about anything. My Facebook page gets more attention than anything, and that is just regurgitated crap from other people. My YouTube channel is the same, altho' most of the videos are my own. The best I ever did on YouTube was a review of a product that garnered me almost 30,000 views and a whack of followers. Whoop-dee-do.
Tonight, as I lay in bed wondering if sleep would ever arrive, I decided to come here and blog about nothing. About the unknown. And good golly gosh, I did it! I've said absolutely nothing about nothing and the unknown! Am I good or what??!! >>shrug<< unknown...
Keep The Faith*
2017/07/14
Peripheral Neuropathy
Ah, the pain of it all! I was diagnosed years ago with peripheral neuropathy (PN) due to my diabetes (Type 1 or IDDM), or more accurately, my mismanagement of the disease.
Over the past few years, the reactions to PN have been getting steadily worse. There was a time where I could apply a heat-like topical cream like capsacin which would ease the pain and/or cramping in my lower legs. That no longer helps. Now, when I start to cramp or get the (now) excruciating pains, I'll take a naproxen -- Aleve is the expensive name brand -- and wait an hour to let it kick in.
Bugger of that is the fact that these pains or cramps occur at night, usually after I have finally got myself into REM sleep. I mention REM because the pains have been invading my dreams, messing up whatever scenario my addled brain has concocted for the evenings entertainment.
Tonight's bout... no this morning's!! ... woke me up around 04:00. It is now 05:45, and the daylight outside isn't helping me to get back to sleep. The pain I originally experienced manifested itself into a dream I was having. Can't remember all the details, but I know I was trying to walk from here to there and it was darn near impossible to do.
As such. I finally gave up trying to go back to sleep after taking my pain pill, since the daylight and my overly active grey cells conspired to say, "MWAH-HA-HA!!" So, here I be. I do have to say that this scenario is common, but, I do have a way to avoid it or at least, alleviate it.
When the pains come roaring in at night, it usually occurs rather early, between 01:00 and 02:00 hrs. My tendency is to get up, walk around a bit, then go back to bed. I know the pain is going to come back. My aversion to taking pills of any sort for whatever keeps me from popping that single blue tab (no, silly! not THAT little blue pill!!) If I can train myself to use my little walk to head to the bathroom and grab a pill, maybe I could get a longer night's sleep. Perchance to dream without pain interruption!!
Oh well. The sun has broken over the horizon and much as I hate sunrises... well, no. I still hate them.
Keep The Faith*
Over the past few years, the reactions to PN have been getting steadily worse. There was a time where I could apply a heat-like topical cream like capsacin which would ease the pain and/or cramping in my lower legs. That no longer helps. Now, when I start to cramp or get the (now) excruciating pains, I'll take a naproxen -- Aleve is the expensive name brand -- and wait an hour to let it kick in.
Bugger of that is the fact that these pains or cramps occur at night, usually after I have finally got myself into REM sleep. I mention REM because the pains have been invading my dreams, messing up whatever scenario my addled brain has concocted for the evenings entertainment.
Tonight's bout... no this morning's!! ... woke me up around 04:00. It is now 05:45, and the daylight outside isn't helping me to get back to sleep. The pain I originally experienced manifested itself into a dream I was having. Can't remember all the details, but I know I was trying to walk from here to there and it was darn near impossible to do.
As such. I finally gave up trying to go back to sleep after taking my pain pill, since the daylight and my overly active grey cells conspired to say, "MWAH-HA-HA!!" So, here I be. I do have to say that this scenario is common, but, I do have a way to avoid it or at least, alleviate it.
When the pains come roaring in at night, it usually occurs rather early, between 01:00 and 02:00 hrs. My tendency is to get up, walk around a bit, then go back to bed. I know the pain is going to come back. My aversion to taking pills of any sort for whatever keeps me from popping that single blue tab (no, silly! not THAT little blue pill!!) If I can train myself to use my little walk to head to the bathroom and grab a pill, maybe I could get a longer night's sleep. Perchance to dream without pain interruption!!
Oh well. The sun has broken over the horizon and much as I hate sunrises... well, no. I still hate them.
Keep The Faith*
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